| Wednesday, April 18, 2007 |
|
Where to go and what to do....
The title pretty much says it all for most of us I'm sure, but I really have no idea for myself. I know all of the things that I don't want for myself as a career/lifestyle although it seems that the very things that I don't want to do and be, are the very things that I stare at in the mirror every morning while shaving and brushing my teeth. Why is it that I only realize it then? I mean it's not like they don't go away during the day while I perform the vicious circle of my redundant mediocre job, right? or maybe the second I step away from that mirror I go into a funky state of denial...
I just fear one of these days when I look into that mirror, my image will be and old man (myself of course) that looks me dead in the eye, shakes his head in disappointment and walks out the door... on his way to the same job I have right now I'm sure. |
posted by Ben Alpha @ 1:35 AM  |
|
| 3 Comments: |
-
Dude, you've got the power to preemptively strike against regret.
You're going through a genuine depression. and while I don't want to give you the pat answer I've been convicted that I need to do more than hold your hand on the primrose-path-to-hell. And by hell, I mean a hopelessness that you can't escape from. So, while i'm not even close to being solid on my understanding, I am solid on my understanding of Who God says He is. And while that my seem
contradictory it's where I'm at. So if God is true, and I know He is, then I better be a better friend than just a "spotter". I will never give you platitudes and rose-rimmed answers, but I will tell you if I think we both can find a better path than the one we're on. And I think we can.
But it's like I'm not all fired up to run back to church and be part of everything and pretend like nothing is ever wrong. I want to be genuine and I want it to be true, not just some "sprititual gasoline" that's burns bright and then burns out!!! Not a whole lot of answers, just questions.
-
A few months ago, I was stuck in the same rut as you, my friend. I had clear visions of myself never going to college, being a waitress or mail carrier or something for life, and living a life I could not bear. And as you know, I had a huge breakdown at the end of November and spent three weeks in a recovery hospital for other teens life me.
You know what I realized? When you're a little kid and people tell you that you can do anything you wannt - they'er not lying. My dear, if you want to be a rock star, go be a rock star. If you want to quit your job and live like a nomad for a while and just travel around the world and see *gasp* the ocean - then do it! If you truly don't want to become that tired old man, I know that you won't. I see you already - you're living where you want to be, you're working without boredom, and you're surrounded by everything good.
But what you need to remember - and this is something I understood too late - is that you can't just say "God will take care of me," or think that it'll all work out. Because life is work. And happiness is work. But you know what comes after work? Retirement. :) And you have a beautiful one coming to you.
-
As you can see everyone believes in you! You have so much potential to do great and powerful things and your not the type to just sit around and let your life pass by. You are a great person already whom I am madly in love with, I see things in you that not everyone sees a kindness to never hurt me, a never ending respect, and a never ending love. I am going to be by your side for the rest of your life and I hope to accomplish great things with you as I know I will. I love you and stay awesome!!
|
| |
| << Home |
| |
|
|
|
| About Me |
|
Name: Ben Alpha
Home:
About Me: I grew up in California then moved up to the middle of nowhere in Montana.
Became homeschooled. Then fell in love with music. currently un-employed as far as music goes and am holding down a job at a copy shop.
right now me and a buddy are setting up doing freestyle jamming.
See my complete profile
|
| Previous Post |
|
| Archives |
|
| Links |
|
|
|
Dude, you've got the power to preemptively strike against regret.
You're going through a genuine depression. and while I don't want to give you the pat answer I've been convicted that I need to do more than hold your hand on the primrose-path-to-hell. And by hell, I mean a hopelessness that you can't escape from. So, while i'm not even close to being solid on my understanding, I am solid on my understanding of Who God says He is. And while that my seem
contradictory it's where I'm at. So if God is true, and I know He is, then I better be a better friend than just a "spotter". I will never give you platitudes and rose-rimmed answers, but I will tell you if I think we both can find a better path than the one we're on. And I think we can.
But it's like I'm not all fired up to run back to church and be part of everything and pretend like nothing is ever wrong. I want to be genuine and I want it to be true, not just some "sprititual gasoline" that's burns bright and then burns out!!! Not a whole lot of answers, just questions.